I know you must have heard the saying ‘Love is not enough’ over and over again. And yes indeed love is not enough in terms of building a lasting fulfilling marriage. In this article ,I discuss the 7 C’s you must consider in choosing a life partner. Prevention they say is better than cure and this also applies to marriage I dare to say.
I often write about achieving good health and wellbeing and I cannot overemphasize the important role a spouse plays towards your goal of achieving a healthy happy life.
Below are the 7 C’s..happy reading!
5 Caring attitude
A person’s character is the sum total of their attitude or behaviour. People develop their character over the years based on home training, schooling, various experiences at home, place of work etc. Experiences of abuse in the past, disappointment, lack of basic amenities etc could all feed into people’s character. Also, there is some element of mental health which could also control one’s character, in terms of certain long-term conditions or diseases. So do not overlook one’s character at the point when you are about to make this major decision. People’s bad character even get more amplified with marriage.
Compatibility is oven overlooked these days. Some over religious people would say since both of you are of the same faith, it automatically means you are compatible. This is not the case.
There are certain temperament traits that would not normally compliment each other. You have to do your home work to ensure your temperaments match.
Charisma is an important component of a healthy marriage. It goes to say that our charisma’s sends a signal out there to the world. Your charisma is more or less the non-verbal communication you exude, the aura/vibe around an individual and the energy they ‘transmit’. People with good charisma exhibit mostly positive vibes which helps to build up good coping mechanisms in times of hardship and stress. One with a great charisma would also attract favours from others.
Before you say I do, ensure you understand the career or the future ambition of your intended spouse. If you cannot cope with shift working patterns, do not marry a health care professional who needs to work rotas like overnight shifts, evening and weekend jobs for instance. There is no point complaining one year into the marriage that you spouse is not home when you’re home if you understood the nature of their job. If you want a spouse who would go to work at 9am and be back before 6pm Monday -Friday only, then you should marry a school teacher or a civil servant.
5. Caring attitude
For a marriage to last, both parties have to care for each other. When you care for your spouse, you would be interested in their welfare and happiness. Care is all that matters, it would pick you up when you’re down and give you hope. Marriages where the spouses care for each other would normally last longer as the law of treat others how you wish to be treated would be applied.
Being considerate is about selflessness and putting the other person in your shoes. When I tell people, love is not enough in marriage, sometimes it sounds so cliché. Being considerate is about considering your spouse’s welfare and ensuring your decisions and attitudes do not lead to any manner of abuse, oppression, suppressions or manipulation. A considerate spouse would always ensure they carry you along in whatever they do and they respect your opinions and choices as well.
In marriage you would get to different crossroads at different times, when important decisions that would affect the trajectory of the marriage needs to be made. You ought to consider the capacity of your would-be spouse in terms of mental capacity, agility and IQ. Your journey as a married person would be affected by the decisions made by your spouse and each decision could make or mar you and your kids or even ruin your life entirely. So, be very careful and do not underestimate the power of capacity, understanding and judgement.
Now you know the 7 C’s ,the ball is in your court to make the right decision and continue to be responsible for your health & wellbeing.
Article by Adaku Efuribe